Dammit Kanaya
by LittleRedOpheliac
Summary: A collection of one shots between Kanaya and Vriska, even though all the stories kind of connect but not really. Rated T for language, and it's painfully obvious that I ship these two like wow.
1. Dammit Kanaya

/ Hey all. :33 Okay, here's a short story that I was thinking about for about ten minutes and wrote it on a whim. I tried to keep the girls in character as much as I could. I don't know if it's canon for trolls to rarely get sick, but in this story they usually don't.

**Warning: This has some swearing (nothing terrible) and it has self-neglect. If these bother you, then I suggest you don't read it.**

Kanaya Maryam paced around her hive, sneezing into her elbow. She growled softly. It was uncommon for a troll to get sick, especially if the troll took care of themselves. Of course, Kanaya had been too busy the past few months, between making sure her friends don't kill each other, taking care of her Lusus, and many other things that had to do with everyone who wasn't her. She had hardly had enough time to sleep at night, let alone keep herself fed. Kanaya's ears perked up and she sat down when she heard a familiar "DING!" come from her computer. Oh yay, just what she needed. More troll drama. Kanaya opened the chat to see that Vriska was trolling her.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

AG: Heeeeeeeey Kan ::::)

GA: Hello Vriska

AG: How're you doing?

GA: I've Been Better

AG: What's wrong? ::::(

GA: I Think I'm Coming Down With Something

AG: You're getting s8ck? How does a troll even get s8ck?

GA: Well Usually When A Troll Doesn't Take Care Of Themselves They Get Sick

AG: Damm8t, Kan. Why a8n't you taking care of y8urself?

GA: I Don't Need This Talk Vriska I'm A Big Troll And I Can Take Care Of Myself

AG: O8viously you c8n't.

AG: Kan?

AG: It's 8een like 8 minutes.

AG: Where are you?

GA: I Apologize For Disappearing

GA: And It Was Only Five Minutes

GA: Hold On Someone's At My Door

Kanaya sighed and pushed herself off her bed to open the door. When she did, a smirking Vriska was standing on the other side. "How did you-?" Kanaya was cut off when Vriska pushed past her and into the Jade blood's hive.

"I was in the area and decided you needed a visit. You sound like shit, Kanaya. You need to rest." Vriska said. Before Kanaya could protest, Vriska carefully grabbed the taller troll's horn and pulled her over to her couch. Kanaya made a strangled sound of pain when one of her horns was pulled. They were one of the most sensitive parts of a troll's body, and Vriska knew that. That didn't stop her from tugging the horn so that Kanaya fell onto the colorful furniture. Kanaya glared up at Vriska and swatted her hand away from the offended horn.

"That was completely distasteful and literally a pain in the horn. Please, if you do that again, I'll have to cut you in half." Kanaya threatened, unable to hide a small, playful smirk. Vriska flashed a fanged smile, knowing that it was nothing but an empty threat.

"Stay here or I'll tie your horns to the chair. I'll be right back." Vriska muttered, making her way to the kitchen. After about three minutes, Vriska came back with a steaming bowl of soup. "If you don't eat this willingly, I will cram it down your throat." She grinned, setting the bowl down on a small table and helping Kanaya sit up fully. The action pushed the Virgo's shirt up slightly, and Vriska frowned when she saw a practically withering torso. "What the hell, Kanaya? What's going on?" She demanded, pushing Kanaya's shirt up a little so she could study the girl's torso for any sign of self harm.

Kanaya's face was a deep jade when Vriska saw her torso, she forced her shirt back down to hide from the prying eight pupils. "It's nothing to concern yourself with, Vriska." She growled, holding her shirt down with one hand and hiding her flushed face with her other. She was embarrassed that Vriska had seen her in this condition. Vriska rolled her eyes.

"I swear, if you don't let me check you over, I'll kick your ass." She threatened, moving so she sat on Kanya's hips so she couldn't move away. She shoved Kanaya's hand out of the way, and pushed the Virgo's shirt back up far enough that she could see Kanaya's ribs and stomach. She was slightly confused when Kanaya barely fought back. Her stomach dropped when she realized Kanaya had used up a lot of her strength to make the feeble attempt at getting Vriska away. "Kanaya, when's the last time you ate?" She asked skeptically, recognizing malnutrition as easily as she recognized Kanaya's ribs. Kanaya sighed softly. Vriska cringed as she watched Kanaya's torso twitch awkwardly at the action.

"I don't actually remember." Kanaya mumbled, moving her hand to hide her stomach subconsciously. Her other arm covered her eyes in embarrassment. Vriska glared up at Kanaya.

"Where is your Lusus? Isn't she supposed to take care of you?" Vriska's tone had softened a little when she thought she saw Kanaya sniffle. It wasn't normal for the jade-blooded troll to show much emotion other than stubbornness and caring, and it was even weirder to see her cry. The sight made Vriska's stomach clench.

"I got into a small fight with her told her I could take care of myself and that she wouldn't have to worry." Kanaya's dark green lips quirked into a sad and shaky smile. "I guess I was wrong."

Vriska carefully moved Kanaya's hands from her eyes and pulled the jade-blood up so they were both sitting up. Vriska awkwardly wrapped her arms around Kanaya. It took Kanaya a second to realize the Scorpio was hugging her. She wrapped her arms around Vriska's torso and hugged her tight, resting her head on Vriska's shoulder.

"You weren't wrong, Idiot. You just weren't right yet." Kanaya could hear the slight smirk in Vriska's uncharacteristically caring tone. "You'll be ready eventually, but right now, you're only 7.4 solar sweeps old. It's stupid being alone, and you aren't supposed to be the stupid one. You'll have more time to be independent and stubborn, but for right now, you need your Lusus." Vriska blinked and peaked down when she felt her shoulder grow wet. She watched jade tears fall on, and disappear into, her cerulean jacket. She smirked a little. "Now, wipe your face off and eat some damn soup. You being sick and underweight isn't a good combination." She grinned when Kanaya let out a slightly strangled chuckle.

"Thank you, Vriska…" Kanaya mumbled into Vriska's shoulder. Vriska's grin turned into a smirk.

"No problem. If you ever tell anyone that I softened up, I'll cut you in half with your own chainsaw. Now eat."


	2. Heroes

**Heroes**

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

AG: Hey Kanaya!

GA: Hello Vriska

AG: You should come visit. ::::)

GA: I'm Not Sure

GA: You Aren't Really Near Me

AG: Kanayaaaaaaaa.

GA: Fine But No Spider Movies

AG: Why? ::::(

GA: Because Giant Spiders Are Terrifying

AG: But you aren't scared of Spidermom. ::::/

GA: Spidermom Is A Different Story

AG: She's a giant spider, why is she any different? ::::/

GA: Because She's Your Spidermom And That Doesn't Worry Me Near As Much

AG: You're a weird troll, Kan.

GA: I Try

AG: Was that another weak attempt at sarcasm? ::::)

GA: Yes

AG: You tried.

GA: Don't Sass Me

AG: ;;;;) Noooooooow, come to my hive.

GA: I'm Bringing A Hairbrush Because Knowing You Your Hair Is Unruly

AG: Oh, thanks. That helps a lot.

GA: Was That Another Weak Attempt At Sarcasm

AG: Don't even...

GA: You Tried

GA: I'll Be Over Soon

AG: ::::/

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

Well, that didn't go as smooth as planned. Vriska Serket rolled her eyes at the chat log between her and her friend, Kanaya. She made a face before closing out of Trollian. She knew that it wouldn't actually take Kanaya that long to arrive, she always seemed to be able to come at short notice. Maybe Kanaya was creeping on her? For some reason, Vriska wasn't 100% against this. Oh well, she decided she'd better clean up a little. She got busy and picked up random bottles and trash around her hive. It wasn't long before she went down to talk to Spidermom. "Spidermom, Kan's coming over. Please, for the love of Gog, don't make to much noise and don't come up to the damn hive." Vriska growled, knowing she shouldn't be so disrespectful to her Lusis. Spidermom easily picked Vriska up, created a web over the window, and hung her upside-down in the web before using more web to stick her young troll to the sticky wall. Vriska yelled and squirmed, but Spidermom didn't pay attention. Afterwards, Vriska was hanging upside-down in a cocoon, her hair hanging over the window. It wasn't long before she felt a gentle tug on her hair. "Mom, I said leave me alone!" She heard a familiar chuckle.

"Spidermom pulls your hair?" Vriska rolled her eyes.

"Shut up, Kanaya. Spidermom hangs me upside-down." Vriska mumbled as the jade-blood continued to tug her hair. "What are you doing, anyways?"

"I told you I was bringing a brush. If I brush your hair while you're upside-down, then you can't hit me if I accidentally pull on a snag." Kanaya answered. As if on cue, she hit a snag in Vriska's hair. Vriska yelped when Kanaya forced the brush through.

"Hey! That hurt!" Vriska called down, wiggling in her cocoon. Kanaya chuckled softly and continued her work, finishing her brush-through.

"Okay, how are we going to get you down from there?" She called up, setting the brush aside. Vriska rolled her eyes.

"If I knew, I wouldn't be up here, now would I?" She called back. Kanaya smirked at the almost playful tone.

"Hush, Vriska, or I'll catch a snag again." Kanaya threatened with a smirk. "Now, would the chainsaw be a choice or should I find something else?"

Vriska hadn't heard Kanaya, for she had started squirming in her cocoon. The web gave way and she let out a shrill screech as she started to fall. Kanaya's eyes widened and she reached her arms out, grabbing Vriska as she fell by. However, Kanaya wasn't the strongest of the trolls, and she tumbled out the window behind Vriska. The two screamed before landing on one of Spidermom's old cobwebs, one that had been abandoned. The two broke through the top layer of the nest of webs before finally coming to a stop only a few inches from the ground. Vriska let out a noise of frustration, having gone from one web to another. She blew a lock of inky black hair out of her face before staring up at her hive above them. She heard Kanaya's laugh.

"What are you - Stop laughing! This isn't funny!" She demanded, unable to hide the irritation in her voice. Kanaya's laughs continued.

"H-hang on, I'm almost out." Kanaya said between laughs. It wasn't long before the web shifted and Vriska was eye-to-eye with the jade blood. Kanaya smiled before helping an annoyed Vriska from her trap. Vriska pulled away and stormed back into her hive.

Kanaya sighed and watched Vriska go. She turned to Spidermom and tilted her head, her single bent horn pointing towards the ground. "I'm not sure what you did, but you aren't helping." She knew Spidermom didn't seem to understand, either that or pay attention, to anyone who wasn't Vriska, so she knew her efforts were in vain. Kanaya rolled her eyes at the stubborn Lusus before she went inside and calmly started her search for her friend. It wasn't long before she found Vriska hidden in a corner of her hive inside a small fort made of pillows and blankets. It was a nest big enough for two, so Kanaya crawled in and sat beside Vriska.

"How did you find me?" Vriska asked half-heartedly. She knew the answer, but she didn't like the silence.

"Did you really ask that, Vriska? We constructed this fort together, of course I know of it's whereabouts." Kanaya answered with a calming tone. She smiled a little. "I also know that you've been using it to hide away whenever you get embarrassed or irritated. What's wrong?"

Vriska sighed and rolled her eyes. "You're my meddler meddling friend." She shrugged. "It's just embarrassing having fallen from a window. I'm supposed to be the brave price, not the damsel in distress. Also, I was annoyed that Spidermom did that..." She muttered, pulling a blanket around Kanaya when she saw the jade blood shiver. "I didn't really expect her to hang me upside down..."

Kanaya held the blanket around her before carefully pulling Vriska into her lap so that the cerulean blood's back was against Kanaya's front. She started to braid the thick inky hair. "I'll always be your meddling meddler friend. Besides, you meddle too. Remember the other week when you came to my hive and forced me to eat because I said I wasn't feeling well? Well-"

"You were starving yourself, Kanaya!" Vriska interrupted. Kanaya tugged Vriska' hair until she was looking upside-down at her. "Hey! Ow!" Vriska whined.

"Don't interrupt." Kanaya smirked and released her friend's hair before continuing the braiding. She was silent as she regained her train of thought. "Well, you classify as a meddler as well. If it helps anything, you're one of my heroes." Kanaya smiled as she finished the braid, tying it off with a jade green hair tie.

"That's stupid! Why would I, of all people, be your hero?" Vriska snapped half-heartedly. She didn't want to admit that being told she was someone's hero almost made her cry. Whether from happiness or from pity, she didn't know.

"Because Vriska, you've suffered so much for someone so young. You-"

"I'm only a sweep younger than you!" Vriska interrupted again, turning to glare at the jade blood. Kanaya tugged harshly on her braid so that she'd feel it through the thick mass of hair.

"I said don't interrupt." Kanaya responded calmly. She smirked at her glaring friend. "Now, if I may proceed, you're one of my heroes because you've suffered so much for one so young," she covered Vriska's mouth with her hand before she could comment, "and you've still stayed true to yourself. You've had to suffer through the bipolar society that tells you that you're both right and wrong for feeding your Lusus. You've gone through being ridiculed and bashed, and you come out as Vriska on the other side. Not Vriska the Tearful, not Vriska the Delirious, just Vriska. Strong Vriska. And that is why you are one of my heroes." Kanaya's voice softened near the end as she wiped cerulean tears from Vriska's face. Vriska had started crying silently about halfway through Kanaya's little rant. It was still unknown if the tears were happy or out of pity or Kanaya, maybe the tears were a little embarrassment for being called such a title as hero. She didn't know. Vriska turned so she was facing Kanaya and rested her head on the Jade-blood's shoulder. Kanaya held Vriska as the cerulean cried quietly. Kanaya remembered a lullaby Vriska had shown her from Mindfang's journal. As the story goes, one of Mindfang's female slaves would sing the lullaby to help the restless captain sleep on stressful nights. Kanaya searched her mind for a tune before singing softly. The words were in old Alternian, and Vriska didn't understand a single word, but she was comforted by the soft song. Her issues with Spidermom were pushed far from her mind as she sat and listened.

"Hey, Kan-"

"I know, not a single person is told or else you'll lacerate me with my own chainsaw." Kanaya smirked softly, her singing pausing.

Vriska flicked Kanaya's arm playfully, letting out a small sob-laugh. "Don't interrupt." She said, grinning. "I was just going to say your voice is real pretty."

Kanaya's face turned a deep green color, but she said nothing more on the subject. She just grinned and continued her song. Soon enough, the two were curled up in a small ball inside the fort and fast asleep, Vriska hiding her face in Kanaya's neck. Kanaya may think she was a hero, but Vriska knew that Kanaya was the real hero. The two slept the whole night and throughout most of the next day, happy and content for once. They never did get around to that movie.


End file.
